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Oct 23 05 9:08 AM

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*Butterflies* Chapter 73


INSIDE THE ABBOTT KITCHEN
>>Don't Cry Over Spilled Milk.


I’m sorry you had to see that. But I had to get a little rough with him. Just to throw him off my scent. If he found out I lost my pendant, ((sigh)) I don’t even want to think about what could happen. You gotta help me and Sierra find my pendant. You know what it looks like. So if anyone one finds it there’s gonna be a big reward coming, I promise. I can’t stop feeling so nervous, that pendant means so much to me. It’s beyond any price tag value anyone can put on it. When JT gave it to me for my birthday/Christmas present, I just couldn’t believe it. Out of anything he could have bought for me the pendant, along with the locket are two of my most treasured possessions. When I wear my pendant, I feel like I’m always wearing my feelings on the outside for everyone to see how much JT loves me. Others might not know, but my pendent is a symbol of our renewed love for each other. Reminding me everyday how special he is to me.

Sierra: So how did it go?
CC: A little ugly, but I’ve stalled him for a good while. You didn’t tell Stephen anything did you?
Sierra: I almost did, but then I recovered when I told him the cooks were serving his favorite spare ribs at happy hour. ((looks at her watch)) Which should have been about 5 minutes ago.
CC: Okay, good. So, did you have any luck with finding my pendant?
Sierra: I’m sorry, no luck at all. I looked in almost all of the bathrooms, the living room, the basement, the kitchen; I searched up this house as much as I could without attracting any attention and came up with nothing. I think Daniel caught me rummaging through the garbage.
CC: Damn! - ((sigh)) This cannot be happening to me. Why now?
Sierra: Yeah, I know. So what did you tell JT?
CC: I just got him all upset. I told him he was a terrible dancer and that he had two left feet and couldn’t dance his way of a paper bag. He’s right now trying to figure out if I’m PMS -sing or if I’ve lost my marbles completely.
Sierra: Good plan. - Are you sure you want to keep looking for your pendant. God knows where it could be. If someone had a conscience and found it, they’d turn it in. - I mean maybe he won’t notice for a while that it’s missing.
CC: Sierra, you know as well as I do. That pendant means everything to me and to him to. I’ve at least gotta look for it some more before I have to make up some lie and say it’s getting cleaned at the jewelers or something.
Sierra: Yeah, you could go with that and he’ll never even notice you lost it.
CC: Open your eyes, he’s not gonna go for that. After a couple of weeks he’s gonna be wondering about it.
Sierra: ((sigh)) You might as well confess now, and spare yourself a lot of misery trying to replace it.
CC: ((light bulb!)) Sierra, do you know how incredibly smart you are?
Sierra: Not until now. What’s the matter?
CC: All I have to do is go out and buy another one that looks exactly like the one I lost, replace it, and he’ll never know the difference.
Sierra: Colleen, I can’t believe you’re thinking of doing that.
CC: It’s my only option. - Do you have any better ideas?
Sierra: Why don’t you just tell him the truth? He’s an understanding guy. He’ll forgive you. There will be no harm done if you just tell him the truth. And then all’s well that ends well. See?
CC: ((sigh)) …Maybe you’re right? I mean what was I thinking, trying to cover it up. He’ll understand right?
Sierra: Yeah. Lying only gets you in more trouble. ((sigh)) So do you feel like telling him the truth?
CC: …Yeah. But he’s all upset now. And I hate when he’s upset. Makes my job even harder.
Sierra: How many times have you told me about the little fights you and JT have. And then within no time you guys always make up.
CC: ((sigh)) Fine. I’ll go.
Sierra: Good. Cause I couldn’t handle being your accomplice for too long.
CC: Some friend you are. ((giggles)) But, thanks anyway for the advice. ((hug))
Sierra: Hey anytime. We look out for each other, its what friends do for one another, right? - So go on, I’ll catch up with you later. And you can give me all the juicy details.
CC: Okay… ((she reenters back outside to find JT))


I turn around and started walking towards the patio doors that leads me back outside where the scene of the crime took place. I milled around through the crowd of guests looking for JT, no luck at all, I started thinking think where JT was and was he really that upset with me. The sky had gotten dark so it was a little hard for me to find JT through the growing number of guests who just seem to drop by at a moments notice to send their congratulations to the new Mr. And Mrs. Michael Baldwin. I thought at one point, maybe he left the party. I tried his cell; he didn’t answer it. But before I was to believe my own conclusion, I wanted to make sure he was still here. There are only a couple of places he could be to blow off some frustration. The first place he could be is hanging out in the playhouse a.k.a. ‘The Hideaway’. I already looked, and he wasn’t there. So that left me to think that he was hiding out in the only other place he could be to be alone, a spot we like to call ‘Lookout Mount’. Remember I told you guys about this spot about 20 chapters back. It’s kind of cool to have a special place you go to. To think things out that’s been bugging you for a while. On the other hand, I wasn’t feeling at all like myself… I need a second… ((she takes a big swallow))

I couldn’t believe my eyes. When I saw JT with another girl kissing and groping each other… Of course I made sure to see it was him and it was. His tongue was obviously too stuck down that girl’s throat for him to even notice I was standing nothing but 50 feet away. I felt like the wind had been knocked out of me. I felt like a ton of bricks was lying on my chest. My eyes welled up with so much water I could barely see two feet in front of me. But I saw enough, enough to make me sick to my stomach… ((sigh)) I didn’t want to believe it, I didn’t. But it was all there, right in front of my face. That bastard betrayed again, again! I couldn’t move, my feet felt like there was lead in my shoes. I couldn’t utter a sound my whole body went numb with repulsion. Closing my eyes and turning my head away wasn’t going to subside the painful images I’d just seen. Part of me wanted me to confront him and call him out on all of the cold-hearted crap he’s put me through. But the other part is telling me to walk away and let him figure it out for himself. I dropped out of plain sight looking for secluded place to hide my shame. I thought about running back down to the main house, going up to my room and cry for hours on end of why a man I’ve loved with everything I have would do this to me again. At this point, I can’t love anyone else like I’ve spent almost 10 years loving JT the way I did; and I still do. There’s no switch to turn on and off my feelings for him, which makes this whole situation 50 times harder to deal with. I’m feeling like a piece of China that’s been shattered into a million pieces. There’s no way that anyone can mend this broken heart of mine. And what’s worse is I have this deep empty whole in the pit of my stomach. The burning anguish of losing the love of my life, I don’t deserve this; no one does. He can go on and kiss all up on her all he wants to cause I’m not gonna be there no more. Why try loving someone if I don’t feel like they’re gonna appreciate it? - I can’t do it anymore. ((rain drops are falling)) Great, just when my day can’t get any better, it’s starting to rain. I’m sitting in a gazebo in the middle of Gloria’s garden sobbing away all of the years, all of the emotional investments I put into giving JT another chance. And what makes me cry even more is the fact that, I’ve lost JT forever. I can’t get him back. I love him so much and it’s all over. - I don’t want to believe it myself, but it’s happening. How can I face him to tell him it’s over? I don’t want it to be over just like you do. But I’m a human being for God’s sake; one can only take so much tragedy in their life. - I’m tired; I’m just so tired of competing with these other women out here. Can you honestly say you know what he sees in these women? I just don’t get it. - My dress is ruined. I’m ruined. I can’t go back down to the house and face anybody. I can’t keep myself together for anything. Crying right now may be the best thing for my release. Somebody has to start picking up the pieces, and I guess that’s gonna be me.


@ GLORIA'S GAZEBO GARDEN


JT: Colleen? What are you doing up here?
CC: ((snff*snff)) I should be asking you the same question.
JT: It’s raining out here. Why don’t you come with me inside the hideaway?
CC: No…
JT: What? - What’s going on? ((he takes two steps towards her))
CC: Don’t you dare come near me!
JT: Colleen. Why are you acting like this?
CC: I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! ((sobbing))
JT: ((he walks up the steps onto the gazebo)) You hate me, for what? - Tell me what happened!
CC: ((crying)) I trusted you. I loved you… I can’t do this anymore.
JT: Colleen, you’re scaring me. What happened? Did somebody hurt you?
CC: Don’t give me that crap! You know damn well what just happened!
JT: What? Tell me!
CC: You and that girl just now.
JT: ((his mouth opens)) No. No. It’s not what you think. You weren’t supposed to see that.
CC: Too bad, it happened, right? - What am I supposed to do now, just walk away from you; shut you out of my life for good? It’s not that simple JT... ((sobbing))
JT: Colleen, listen to me. What you saw back there, was a mistake. It never should’ve happened. It wasn’t my fault.
CC: Oh yeah, sure it wasn’t. Like sleeping with Anita wasn’t your fault. Messing around with Mac wasn’t your fault. Everything is not your fault! Is that what you want me to believe?
JT: Don’t shut down on me like this. Colleen I love you. Don’t leave.
CC: ((sobbing)) It hurts to hear you say that to me. Do you really love me as much as you say you do?
JT: Yeah, I do. I love you. That’s never gonna change for me. Please, Colleen can we just go into the hideaway and talk about this it’s getting cold out here. I’ll explain everything.
CC: Who was she?
JT: What?
CC: I said who was she? - An old girlfriend, somebody you just met 5 minutes ago, who?

JT: ((silent))
CC: …You can’t tell me? - That’s fine. Get out of my way. ((she tries to walk past him))
JT: ((he stands in front of her)) I can’t let you leave.
CC: Get out of my way you bastard! ((she struggles with him))
JT: Damn it. Colleen. Listen to me! ((he grabs her by her arms staring into her eyes))
CC: Let go of me or I’ll scream!
JT: No. I won’t let you leave… I didn’t hurt you. That’s not what you saw.
CC: Don’t lie to me, I was right there!
JT: That girl was Janie…
CC: ((scrutinizing his eyes)) …Why are you telling me this? It’s over so let go of me!
JT: Only if you don’t run away from me. Are you? ((he lets her go))
CC: ((she immediately smacks him)) You son of a B****! ((sobbing)) Who do you think I am?
JT: I’m not lying to you Colleen! That was Janie, the girl I’d met a few months back and came up to visit- that was her! - I didn’t know she was a gonna be at the wedding. When she found out I was up here by myself, I guess she made it clear that she wanted me. But I’d told her, that I was with you; she knew that but came after me anyway… I didn’t plan any of this. Don’t think for a second I did this to hurt you, cause I didn’t. I promise.
CC: I don’t want to hear any more of your lies. You and her can do whatever the hell you want cause I don’t want you anywhere near me ever!
JT: Colleen, I don’t want to be with her. I wanna be with you!
CC: That’s a damn lie and you know it! - I’m not stupid; you were practically everything. You were all over her.
JT: That wasn’t me, it was all her. She’s the one that kissed me. I swear. I’m sorry you had to see any of it. ((he takes two steps forward))
CC: Stay the hell away from me! Don’t you dare come any closer! I’ve had it JT. I’m tired of these games. I’m tired of being humiliated. Don’t make this any worse than it already is… ((panting))
JT: No, don’t say it. ((crying)) Don’t say it. Colleen, please. I love you so much and I wouldn’t do anything to hurt you. We can make this work… Don’t do this to me.
CC: ((crying)) I want to believe you. ((sigh)) But this is it…
JT: No. ((crying)) Don’t… go.
CC: ((she walks closer to him)) … Just remember… that I’ll… always… love you. ((she collapses in his arms))
JT: Colleen? - ((panting)) Colleen! ((holding onto her)) Colleen! Baby, please open your eyes! - HELP!!! SOMEBODY HELP ME!!! ANYBODY!!! ((crying)) Colleen! Wake up! Colleen! Nooooooooooooooooo!



00jinx

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"Love always reigns in paradise."
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